The Power of Gratitude

It's that time of year again where we practice giving thanks and reflecting on all that is blessed is in our lives. For some, this can feel like a shallow undertaking of mumbling predictable niceties, and others may not be able to feel any thanks, bombarded with problems and pains as they are. Understandable. We…

This is the Part of Me

I had a therapist for a couple of years who practiced with me something called "Parts Work." It is deeply rooted in Jungian psychology, and at its essence draws upon the fact that we have many different parts inside of us and all deserve an equal voice. What tends to happen in fragmented psyches is…

Rescue You

Rescue you, and take you in your arms. Rescue you, you want your tender charms. Because you’re lonely and you’re blue, you need you, and your love, too Come on, rescue you. See what I did there? Oh what a different world it would be. I challenge you to take every love song you hear…

One Hundred Forms of Fear

When you're a child, all sorts of things may scare you: the dark, spiders, witches, whatever monster is lurking under the bed. As you grow though, and most of those acute fears lessen or vanish, a different brand appears, and it usually more subtle, an underlying sense of dread or insecurity. When I was trudging…

When AA is Not Enough

I started going to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous on a regular basis when I was eighteen. I was not all that ready or eager to admit that I was an alcoholic and needed help, but I knew that I belonged in those rooms. I heard the message, I identified with others, and I saw people…

I’d Rather Be Soft

Think of all the ways we are taught that being tough is better than being "weak." We learn to defend ourselves physically and emotionally, that hard bodies are healthier, that objects last longer when they are built tough and sturdy. We are told to try harder, move faster, never give up. Many of us are…

Waking Up

Real recovery is often likened to waking up, choosing to face reality without compulsively smoothing edges and running from what is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and frightening. Whether one is getting sober, confronting sex addiction, or quitting chewing gum at all hours of the day, stopping addictive behaviors, both highly destructive ones and the relatively benign, forces…