Well. I think I made it. I think I finally got to the center of what causes this whole stinking mess of addiction and self-destruction. I think I can now finally see and feel what it is that has driven me for so many years to harm myself and sometimes others. Read on... I work…
Tag: equanimity
One Hundred Forms of Fear
When you're a child, all sorts of things may scare you: the dark, spiders, witches, whatever monster is lurking under the bed. As you grow though, and most of those acute fears lessen or vanish, a different brand appears, and it usually more subtle, an underlying sense of dread or insecurity. When I was trudging…
Waking Up
Real recovery is often likened to waking up, choosing to face reality without compulsively smoothing edges and running from what is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and frightening. Whether one is getting sober, confronting sex addiction, or quitting chewing gum at all hours of the day, stopping addictive behaviors, both highly destructive ones and the relatively benign, forces…
The Problem Isn’t Alcohol
The rooms of AA are filled with love addicts (including myself). They are also filled with sex addicts, food addicts, compulsive gamblers, hyper chain-smokers, spenders and debters, and exercise freaks. (Also including myself, at various times, minus the gambling). I was in a meeting last night that falls into the category of Friday night meeting…
Orthorexia: “Health” Has Many Disguises
Health is not often what people think it is, especially in places like Santa Monica, where more people tend to jog, practice yoga, and eat kale than guzzle beer and smoke cigarettes. While jogging and yoga and kale are all good for you, they alone do not create health. And there are people who are…
Keep Coming, Keep Going
Keep coming back. It's a well-known saying in the rooms of twelve step programs, and next to one day at a time might be the most commonly uttered one. At first, it sounds trite, annoying, maybe even condescending. But when you really think about what it means, it is deeply profound and hopeful. It speaks…
Recommended Books
I probably read more books than is necessary on recovery from addiction and codependency, but they have been unbelievably helpful in my process, and I continue to go back to many them regularly. Some woke me up to new insights and practices, while others were comforting in difficult times. Here is an exhaustive list, in…
Boredom or Suffering
Take your pick. Which one would you rather feel? It has been said that humans must often choose between one or the other as a general rule of their human experience. One might consider the two to be synonymous; after all, extreme boredom can be a sort of suffering, and the experience of profound pain…
Grow Up
I've had a new moment of clarity, folks. That real recovery might be about growing up into a mature, balanced, healthy adult. I don't mean looking like an adult, with a suit and briefcase and big fancy job, or a brood of kids and busy appointment book. But one who is able to live moderately,…
A Full Life 