When I sit down to write fictional stories, the setting is always the same, and the setting is way out west in California. I don't know other places well enough, and even if I grow to, which I might now that I live in the Midwest, my bones quite literally grew to their capacity in…
Tag: eatingdisorder
The Thinker
"The less I think, the more I love." -My friend I have come to trust, despite dubious moments, that there is no solution in rough and tough self-talk and obsessive thinking. You know. The thinking that warns and threatens. That runs the black and white tapes of rigidity and scarcity. The bad girl tales. Those are beyond…
Miracle
If you have ever had an eating disorder, then you know. You understand what it feels like to be consumed with thoughts of food and weight at every moment. You know the calorie count of every single item at the store, and if you don't, you could probably venture a guess. You know the fear…
The Problem Isn’t Alcohol
The rooms of AA are filled with love addicts (including myself). They are also filled with sex addicts, food addicts, compulsive gamblers, hyper chain-smokers, spenders and debters, and exercise freaks. (Also including myself, at various times, minus the gambling). I was in a meeting last night that falls into the category of Friday night meeting…
Orthorexia: “Health” Has Many Disguises
Health is not often what people think it is, especially in places like Santa Monica, where more people tend to jog, practice yoga, and eat kale than guzzle beer and smoke cigarettes. While jogging and yoga and kale are all good for you, they alone do not create health. And there are people who are…
Recommended Books
I probably read more books than is necessary on recovery from addiction and codependency, but they have been unbelievably helpful in my process, and I continue to go back to many them regularly. Some woke me up to new insights and practices, while others were comforting in difficult times. Here is an exhaustive list, in…
Suffer On
My friend is suffering. His head and heart are boiling with that sticky dread of self-hatred and hopelessness. He feels he is broken beyond repair. He thinks there is something deeply wrong with him. He's trying everything, as a sober alcoholic, to not feel. He doesn't believe me when I say I have been there,…
The Deepest Sobriety
There are these moments that come every so often where I fall on my knees in a sort of tender, tearful reverence to the fact that I am sober and free from the hell of alcoholism. Sometimes it comes from reading a novel that recaptures haunting tales of destructive boozing and the interminable suffering that…
A Letter of Thanks, to a Pioneer of a Woman!
I wrote the following email to the creator of the blog, The Fuck It Diet, which I stumbled upon by accident a couple of years ago and consider one of the bravest and most honest forums on women and food. Like so many of us, Caroline went through years of dieting and body-obsession, sometimes in…
Continue reading ➞ A Letter of Thanks, to a Pioneer of a Woman!
Becoming Women
NOTE: I wrote this entry over two years ago. I think there are some valid parts to it, so I decided to copy and paste it into my blog, but it feels tinged with anger, self-pity, and the voice of a girl still very much struggling with food issues and loving her body. Still, I…
A Full Life 