There is a woman. And she's flawless. She's tall and sleek and tanned and blonde. Or maybe brunette. Long full hair and skin like honey. She wears makeup, but she doesn't need it. She's even prettier without it. Not a blemish on her. Slight shoulders and long lithe arms. Skinny skinny. Skinny skinny. Her beauty is…
Month: February 2015
A Full Life
One of my absolute favorite poems by one of my absolute favorite poets, Sharon Olds, has a section that goes a little something like this: "I could see her in a temple, tying someone up, or being tied up, or being made nothing, or making someone nothing, I saw she was full of cruelty and…
The Madness of Being Good
I'm having anxiety today. Some guilt. Waves of old feelings. And what whey all boil down to is this sense that I'm not doing it right. Whatever it is. Life? My day? My choices for the the next few months? It can get crazy in these heads of ours. Sometimes the more I meditate, the…
Chronic Pain
There's something wrong with me. I think anyone who has ever struggled with addiction, trauma, or depression can understand this negative record that gets stuck on repeat in our minds. Maybe you've thought it in passing about the way you look. Or the way you think. Or your inability to have intimacy in relationships. Or…
Last Men Standing: Shame and Fear
You get sober. Quit the booze and the pills or the meth and coke and pot or whatever it is that had its hooks in you. You get some time sober, and you start to feel better. You start to work the steps. You begin to build a concept of a Higher Power. Start to…
A Letter of Thanks, to a Pioneer of a Woman!
I wrote the following email to the creator of the blog, The Fuck It Diet, which I stumbled upon by accident a couple of years ago and consider one of the bravest and most honest forums on women and food. Like so many of us, Caroline went through years of dieting and body-obsession, sometimes in…
Continue reading ➞ A Letter of Thanks, to a Pioneer of a Woman!
On Teaching: Compassion and Acceptance
Teaching is hard. I don't care who tries to say otherwise. Those who do have clearly never taught. It's one thing to constantly be "on" at work and very rarely given a moment's peace. It's another to write lesson plans, implement them, give assessments, grade them, manage the classroom, model consistently positive behavior, communicate with parents, differentiate…
From Black Goop to Radiant Light: Recovery as a Metaphor
I often tend to see the world in symbols and metaphors. I'm an INFJ and a Cancer and a highly sensitive intuitive, and with that kind of resume, it's impossible for me to not always seek the deeper meaning within any given situation and draw connections between events, people, and circumstances. It's a significant part…
Continue reading ➞ From Black Goop to Radiant Light: Recovery as a Metaphor
Alcoholism Pt. 4: Relapse, “Recovery,” Relapse.
Relapse is often a part of recovery. It doesn't have to be, but it often is. And it's not always a bad thing - sometimes it is necessary if one is to have quality sobriety. What's frightening is that some people don't make it back from a relapse. They die. I was lucky. I had…
Continue reading ➞ Alcoholism Pt. 4: Relapse, “Recovery,” Relapse.
Alcoholism Pt. 5: An Awakening
It took about 11 days to go through all of the prescriptions I stole from my mom, and she had plenty. Leftovers from surgeries and sicknesses - she never bothered to take more than a couple. Vicodin and Percocet and Ativan and codeine cough syrup. Delish. When those were gone, I was back with the…
A Full Life 